Not that money has ever been that high on my priority list—making it, having it, spending it—but I do live in the actual world, and take some place in society at large, so I recognise that money is, in its way, essential. It remains the best way I know how to get things, and I admit that there are things out there I want, need, or—at the very least—would like to have. I love my computer, for instance; and I need cash to exchange for books, even if I am overstocked on unread volumes at the moment. I also like clothes, and being on a fairly strict budget for the past couple of years has meant that very few new garments have made it into my wardrobe… if by wardrobe I mean the open closet in my bedroom that doesn’t have any doors. Everything just sits or hangs there, open to the world. I’ve been living in this state of low cash flow in fairly good humour, I think. Turtle’s been bearing the brunt of my whinging but I try not to go on about it. I’ve been poor before, and I’m better at being poor now than I was then: this time ‘round I don’t spend anything on alcohol, which miraculously makes it easier to pay rent on time. I mean, who knew?

But this thing about going back to school, as excited as I am about it, it does mean that I’m resigning myself to subsistence level living for another several years. Now entering a phase of my life where monetary matters are supposed to be becoming a little more manageable, I feel like I’m taking a step sideways to stand in the stream of adult progress. Perhaps slipping a little bit backwards against the current as I prepare myself to take on the onus of debt to pay for it all. Le sigh.

Not that it really makes any difference to my decision. It’s taken me just long enough to recognise that this path is the one I’m devoted to, and I’m not about to cast it aside for something as boring and common as solvency. Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the adventure? And, for goodness sake, where’s the cliché of the poor, harrowed writer eking out his modest living as he pursues his passion? Who am I to deny the universal tropes of biography?

Well, at least I’m not entirely without new threads to sport this spring season. It was my birthday last week, and Cobra gave me a T-shirt embossed with a slogan in gothic script across the chest: “Shakespeare hates your emo poems.”

“I want you to wear it to your first day of class,” she told me.

“Oh, I will,” I told her.


~ by A Mundi on April 26, 2010.

2 Responses to “exchange”

  1. Poverty sucks. Hubby and I live on a budget of Quebec bursaries.

    HIV is a disability so that covers my bursary issue. I use it when it is useful. I also collect a small amount of money from disability payments, that pays our rent. We don’t drink so that is a good thing. We have polished our budget to a fine point, but sometimes money gets the best of us and we end up at the last week of the month eating mac and cheese.

    Investigate what Ontario will give you in money for financial aide. Hubby’s bi-polar situation garners him bursaries as well. (here in Quebec). Check with your institutions students with disability department and see what you can qualify for. If you’ve got it you might as well make it pay off for you if you can.

    Every province is different, so check it out for yourself. You never know where you might find some extra money.

  2. Good suggestions every one.

    All those boxes are ticked this side already. The money Ontario will donate to my cause is being received, and it’s helping tremendously, but what the government budgets as a livable stipend and what an actual life costs at the end of the day are two different things. Toronto is not North Bay after all. I think I’m fated for the dreaded Student Line Of Credit.

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