what words to use

As far as I can tell, my second push to write this blog fell apart around the same time as I started taking Seroquel. This occurred to me after I wrote the previous Ode. Less than a week after switching medications, suddenly returned to the land of the wakeful, and with what  seems in comparison to be oodles of time on my hands, I am back at the keyboard, quite happily charging into the grey-matter synonym-finder and pulling things out to type.

(I had a boyfriend once who looked at me pointedly and said, “You’re like a walking thesaurus,” and I don’t think he meant it as a compliment. We broke up.)

In any case, this is push number three, and I still blame the whole affair on the title, which I absolutely adore—I can’t just abandon it—so here I am with new dedication and trying to work within my self-styled parameter of books, brains and bad luck.

I’ve also realized the great paucity I encountered while trying to dredge up material to write about, before a few days ago, was a result of the state of affairs I was given to work with: all my regular rhythms interrupted; my body drugged to somnolence; and a social life scarce and timid enough to fill a mouse’s cosy nook. My previous blogs (now indubitably defunct) I filled with adventures.

It’s hard to write about adventures when you’re not having any. My life, for a long while there—let’s say since mid 2008—was pretty personal; all the victories and losses were internal, and going to the grocery store does not a thrilling tale make. At least, not the way I tell it:

Turtle came with the car. I put boxes in the trunk. We drove to Loblaws where we rolled are carts around the florescent-filled cavern and I selected fruit. I like selecting fruit in at least three contrasting colours, so I did. The strawberries looked sad. The grocery clerks looked sad. I thought of the poor cows, now dead, whom I would later consume with pepper. This made me sad. So I bought Loads of Chocolaty Almond Bark ice cream from President’s Choice. The end.

Life is slightly more full now. Not brimming. Certainly not bursting, but it’s something slightly more accomplishment-ridden, so I have higher hopes for the blog itself.

And I’m not asleep. You have no idea how happy this makes me. Maybe not Eating Chocolate happy, but close.

I’m going to read my New Yorker.

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~ by A Mundi on September 30, 2009.

4 Responses to “what words to use”

  1. I have a feeling you’ll be alright this time. Do you have narcolepsy or what?

  2. Hey, shotgun;

    no, not narcolepsy; rapid cycling bipolar (I or II, they haven’t been able to decide which).

  3. You’re awake and typing. That’s a good sign. You will find your rhythm I promise. Keep trudging along your merry way.

  4. Enjoy your prose, interesting mind…great read. I am new to wordpress…would appreciate feedback, pointers and any of life’s profundities…if you care to speculate, ruminate or simply e-muse me.

    Be well and happy,

    Irish Word Painter

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